Ferengi Home

Host: "Welcome to our home. Please leave your imprint on the legal waivers, and deposit your admission fee in the box by the door." He then places his hands together at the wrist (hands apart) and says, "Remember, my house is my house."
The guests respond, "As are its contents."

The Rules:
1. Once you have their money, never give it back. "The Nagus"
3. Never spend more for an aquisition than you have to. "The Maquis, Part II"
6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. "The Nagus"
7. Keep your ears open. "In The Hands Of The Prophets"
8. Small print leads to large risk.
9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10. Greed is eternal. "Prophet Motive"
13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
16. A deal is a deal...until a beter one comes along. "Melora"
18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
21. Never place friendship above profit. "Rules Of Acquisition"
22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind. "Rules Of Acquisition"
27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother...insult something he cares about instead. "The Siege"
33. It never hurts to suck-up to the boss. "Rules Of Acquisition"
34. Peace is good for business.
35. War is good for business.
40. She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
41. Profit is its own reward.
44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
47. Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own. "Rivals"
48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. "Rules Of Acquisition"
52. Never ask when you can take.
57. Good customers are as rare as latinum - treasure them. "Armageddon Game"
58. There is no substitute for success.
59. Free advice is seldom cheap. "Rules Of Acquisition"
60. Keep your lies consistent.
62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit. "Rules Of Acquisition"
65. Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.
75. Home is where the heart is...but the stars are made of latinum. "Civil Defense"
76. Every once in a while declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies. "The Homecoming"
79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
94. Females and finances don't mix.
97. Enough...is never enough.
99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
102. Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever. "The Jem Hadar"
103. Sleep can interfere. "Rules Of Acquisition"
104. Faith moves mountains...of inventory.
106. There is no honor in poverty.
109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack. "Rivals"
111. Treat people in your debt like family...exploit them.
112. Never have sex with the boss' sister. "Playing God"
113. Always have sex with the boss.
117. You can't free a fish from water.
121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of latinum.
139. Wives serve, brothers inherit. "Necessary Evil"
141. Only fools pay retail.
144. There's nothing wrong with charity...as long as it winds up in your pocket.
162. Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit.
177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always.
181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
192. Never cheat a Klingon...unless you're sure you can get away with it.
194. It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door. "Whispers"
202. The justification for profit is profit.
214. Never begin a negotiation on an empty stomach. "The Maquis, Part I"
218. Always know what you're buying.
223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.
229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.
236. You can't buy fate.
242. More is good...all is better.
255. A wife is a luxury...a smart accountant a necessity.
261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
266. When in doubt, lie.
284. Deep down everyone's a Ferengi.
285. No good deed ever goes unpunished. "The Collaborator"